Showing posts from May, 2015

I failed... again

I could only make it through 5 days of my 2nd attempt of my 2nd Whole30.

At first I was quite disappointed with myself. How could I make it through my first one, but haven't been able to get through a second one? The first time was also hard, but I was able to stick to it. Why not these last two times?

Then it dawned on me that maybe my timing was off. So I went through my history and confirmed that that was indeed the case. Although I started my first one on New Year's day which should have made it more difficult because of the tasty holiday food and drink, it was at a better time in my cycle. The last two times weren't. Cravings and moods can be quite harsh sometimes. Which is why the timing of the start date of the Whole30 can make a big difference.

A Whole30 is never easy. It takes commitment and good planning to get through it. The food industry is pretty much against you. You really have to "hunt" down the foods you can have on Whole30. There are not that ma…

My first professional massage

I treated myself tonight to my first professional massage!

I was very nervous about going through with it. I've been wanting one for a long time, but I always felt very intimidated by the thought of it. Going in to a strange place, not sure what to do or how to act. New situations make me feel a little self-conscious and awkward sometimes. But lately, I've been forcing myself to go ahead anyway. Like my friend Sue says, the magic happens outside of the comfort zone. Gotta love that Sue! :)

So I walked in and it kind of looked like a dental office. (Dental offices always seem a little nicer than medical offices.) It kind of comforted me. Not that I like going to the dentist, but since it looked like a familiar environment it put me at ease a little. The receptionist was friendly. I told her this was my first time. She handed me a medical history questionnaire to fill out.

Once I was done, my masseur was ready for me. He led me to a room and asked me what I wanted to focus on. …

Who's that woman?

I look in the mirror and it's like I'm seeing myself with new eyes. It's happened before. But it always surprises me when it does. It seems to happen when I'm feeling somewhat at peace with life. Coincidentally, it happened during my first Whole30

Now when I say I'm at peace, it doesn't mean that I'm not sad or struggling with a few issues. I think that's just part of life. It's actually more like I'm just accepting what I can't change, what I have no control over. I feel like I've done all that I could do. Other people's reactions, decisions, actions or inactions don't belong to me. I must accept that. It's not easy. However, I have no other choice. For example, I can't make anyone take better care of themselves. I can't bring anyone back from the dead. I can't make someone forgive. I can't make someone care.

Maybe this new way of seeing myself has something to do with the foods I've been eating. I…

Decluttering my heart

I've done something tonight that I didn't think I'd be able to do. I've let go of that man I broke up with at the end of April. I deleted all of our text messages. All of our emails. And I unfriended him on Facebook. I didn't want to, but I had to. If I want to be able to move on, I really have to let go. Let go of all of it.

Minimalism is a way of life. It's not about just owning less things. In the words of the Minimalists, "Minimalism is a lifestyle that helps people question what things add value to their lives. By clearing the clutter from life’s path, we can all make room for the most important aspects of life: health, relationships, passion, growth, and contribution."

While I was in the relationship with this man, the relationship truly did add value to my life. But now that it's over, hanging on to it doesn't.

Maybe some day I'll be able to be his friend.

(A little secret... I wrote this blog post before actually going through wi…

Goodbye sexy red shoes!

Goodbye sexy red shoes! Oh how I have loved you!

Look at them! Aren't they fantastic! I fell in love with these shoes the moment I laid eyes on them. I was walking down the shoe aisle of a discount store and saw these beauties beckoning to me. I tried them on. They fit!! Woohoo! So I bought them. When I got home, I made up a song for them I loved them so much! "I love my shoes! I love my sexy shoes!" I sang it over and over again until my daughter yelled at me to stop. :) Sadly, I've never been able to wear them for more than 5 minutes. The heals are too high for me. They hurt my ankles. I've had them for years. It's time to come to terms with the fact that I will never wear them. Therefore, I must set them free. I've been reading The life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizingby Marie Kondo which was suggested to me by my friend Laurin. One of the things the author mentions is instead of trying to pick things to ge…

I give up!

As you may know, I'm starting another whole30 on Monday and I've been working-out. This time around with the whole30, I'm not focussing at all on weight loss. If I lose weight, it will be a happy side effect of getting healthier.

Therefore, I give up on weighing or measuring myself. I won't do it before, I won't do it after. My clothes will let me know if I've lost weight and inches. That will be measurement enough. Who really cares about the number?! 
Another thing - I've recently been on two dates with two different men and they've just made me miss the previous man that much more. I'm obviously not ready.  So I've deleted my online dating profiles... again.

I give up on dating for a while. I'm not sure how long it will take before I get back in the game, but I'm not going to worry about it.

Was this blog title dramatic enough for you? ;)

Gratitude for my body

The dancing

"You're doing really well!" said my Lindy Hop dance instructor.

At Tuesday's class, the instructors danced with us so they could better tell how we were doing. I was thrilled! I had been feeling a little off during classes and was starting to think that I wasn't getting it. Even some of my dance partners were somewhat blaming me for moves not going as they should. Well, after dancing with the instructor, now I know it's not me. Good! I was getting very frustrated until then. He actually said just to be picky and find something to criticise he suggested that I could probably follow through with my turns a little more. Other than that, everything was great.

So I asked him to work on another move with me to see if it was my fault it wasn't going well. Nope, not me!

The workout

"Good job!" the trainor said to me tonight as I was doing push-ups. Who knew I could do push-ups, and do them well.

I warned him before the workout that I may e…

Just say it!

We've all heard the saying "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all". But what if you do have something nice to say. Do you say it?

I remember when I was a teen, I had these cool friends. I never had to announce that I was coming for a visit. I'd just show up. They always welcomed me. They ended up graduating from university and went back home. One was from Calgary, one was from Portugal. This was way before the internet as we know it and Facebook. We hadn't exchanged contact information. So we lost touch after they moved. I never told them how much I appreciated them. I know they knew, but I would have wanted to tell them out loud. After that, I resolved to always be forthcoming with nice comments. 
Last night I was feeling kind of low. Suddenly, my cell phone vibrates with a kind message from a friend. A few words of encouragement. I'm sure he had no idea that I needed those kind words. He just felt compelled to share his t…

I'm going to do it again

What am I going to do again? A Whole30 and a "no-buy" month. Why? Because I still need practice.

My diet has improved since doing my first Whole30 in January 2015. But things are slowly creeping back in, like cola, candy, bread, and other less healthy things. I've started going to the gym. If I'm working hard physically to change my body and to become stronger, I need to make sure I'm getting the right fuel for optimal results. No brainer. Also, even though it was tough at times, I never felt as good overall as when I was on my Whole30.

The "no-buy" month is also an area where I need more practice. Old habits of buying without thinking are creeping up. I've made a few purchases that I regret and that I can't return (some because they were final sales, or because I washed the clothes and removed the tags, or because I procrastinated and missed the return date).

I only have about 3 or so more months before I move to a smaller apartment. I want t…

Why I cried during my workout and why it will probably happen again

As I mentioned in my previous post, I cried during my last workout. Not out of sadness. I was in a good mood. Happy to be there. Ready to get through the workout. But as I worked out, I just felt super emotional and started crying.

So I did a Google search and found this:

It's a rather long article. If you want the gist of it, basically, when we supress emotion during life, we end up storing it in our bodies.

"Pert believes that repressed emotions are stored throughout the body (not just in the brain) by means of peptides and that memories are stored in peptide receptor cells. In fact, it’s the emotional release through bodywork that she sees as direct evidence of emotions being repressed and stored in body tissues. Liberating these feelings through touch or other physical methods results in clear internal pathways and a sensation you experience as an energy release."

Therefore, this may be what happened to me during my …

The first real workout and the date

I went to my first REAL general conditioning class this morning. "Welcome ladies!" fist bump from the owner.

The class I went to on Wednesday was just an assessment type class. This morning's hour long class was tough! I loved it, but it was tough.

I was able to get through the warm up. Then we got to the nitty-gritty of the workout. I managed to get through one round of the three round set the trainor wanted us to get through. 25 jumping jacks, 10 plank saws, 15 kettle-bell swings (with a 12 kg k-bell), another 10 plank saws, 10 push-ups, yet another 10 plank saws, 5 pulsing squats with the 12 kg k-bell. There were other things too. Many other things. At some points my vision darkened. I've never fainted before. I didn't today, but I think if I didn't listen to my body and pushed past the darkening vision instead of taking a breather, I may have experienced that today.

The instructor came to check up on me and encourage me. She said I was doing great, espe…

I want to be cool like me!

OK, that title sounds a little ridiculous. It is. I'm just playing. But something happened tonight that I thought never would...

I went to my first general conditioning class. It was so much fun!! I was able to get through all of the exercises. I didn't expect I'd be able to. But I did it! I can't wait to go back! My legs and my glutes feel like jelly! I KNOW I'll be feeling it tomorrow. But I usually really enjoy the muscle aches after a workout. It's a good pain (in my opinion). Makes me feel more alive! lol

Anyway, after the workout, the instructor asked me what classes I'd be attending. The one I should be attending is on Wednesdays. However, for the next two Wednesdays, I have other plans and can't make it. I explained why. My daughter's music recital on one of the upcoming Wednesdays, and every 3rd Wednesday of the month, I have BUG. "Oh cool! You play the ukulele?!?!" she exclaimed. "I don't think I've ever met anyone w…

Signed up to the wrong gym, and I'm totally fine with it!

Something weird happened. Last Friday, I researched kettlebell classes. I thought I had found something promising. I filled out an online request for information form and was communicating with a woman. This afternoon she invited me to come over tonight at 6:30 to try a free class and I could sign up after if I liked it. So off I went last minute to go try the class.

I arrived at the gym that was advertised on the website. There was no one that worked there by the name of the woman I was communicating with by email. I showed the guy at the counter the email exchange and the website I checked out. He said it was their old name but didn't understand what happened and had no idea who I was communicating with.

"Alright then, can you give me information about your gym?" I asked. "Sure!" he replied flashing a charming smile and sweet blue eyes. Adorable young blonde curly haired buff gym rat! Super friendly and excited about the gym, he proceeded to give me all of …


Today I was feeling overwhelmed. Feeling like my time wasn't my own. So I stole a few moments for myself. When I went to run an errand, I bought myself a treat - mixed berries - and drove to the river. I rolled down the window, ate my berries, and listened to the rapids and the birds and breathed deeply. 
I used to come down here often as a child and later as a teen. I'd daydream of what my life would be like. It's nothing at all what I thought or hoped it would be. But it is what it is. Don't worry, I'm not giving up. I still have dreams and I'm still working towards them. They've just changed, obviously. I suppose that's part of growing. Literally and figuratively speaking. I was fantasizing out loud tonight with my daughter, niece, nephew and mom for an audience. The fantasy: my freelance translation business becomes successful enough within the next 3 years to allow me to take a year off of my government job and my daughter and I could travel the w…


More... to get rid of
I've done the 30-day minimalism game and got rid of many things. But I want to get rid of more!! I'm reconsidering the things I kept in my vanity. I was trying to think what I'd bring with me if I were to go on a trip. Surprisingly, not much. SO I'll do another 30 day experiment. I'll take everything out again and just chose the things I'd bring with me on a trip. If I don't miss any of the things I put away, they're gone! No going back this time. I pretty much always chose the same makeup to wear anyway. Eyeliner (with eye shadow sometimes), mascara, and lipstick. Same colour of lipstick too. Other colours are nice, but really not necessary. So, (even though it kind of pains me to say this), they're gone. I'm sure it'll be nice not to worry about what to put on my face.

My awesome friend Christy has this "day of the week" outfit set up. Basically, every season she prepares an outfit for each day of th…


Lifetime of slumber
I noticed something today - I've been feeling like I woke up from a lifetime of slumber! (I'm actually yawning as I write this... oh the irony! hehehe) I don't know what it is that's making me feel this way now. Is it the minimalism? The swing dancing? The better diet? Is it losing my dad in October? All of the above?

Like I mentioned in a previous post, it's not that I haven't done anything in previous years. I have. But somehow things feel different now. 
Whatever it is, it feels good! And I hope that I can keep this up. It feels like I've finally given myself permission to live life the way I want. Not by doing what everyone expects me to do, but by doing what feels right to me. I've even started standing up for myself and speaking up when something is not to my liking. I'm moving away from being a people pleaser and moving towards respecting myself more. Things are not exactly how I want, but I'm definitely working toward…

Tiny habits - update

I've mastered making my bed every morning. It's become automatic. I enjoy how my room looks when my bed is made. I like the colours of my bedspread. Look!

I know a week doesn't seem that long to claim that I've mastered a new habit. But I feel ready to take on something new. So for the keeping-a-tidier-house habits, now my second new habit will be to wipe down the counter and the the toilet after I brush my teeth. (It's not because I splash the counter and toilet with my tooth brushing, it's just to keep it looking clean and dust free.) I will use a new rag for that every morning.

As for the being healthier part. I haven't mastered that new habit yet. But today I bought kale and spinach, I have frozen berries and bananas. So I put a cup worth of the greens in every mason jar. I added a cup of berries. I've put them in the freezer. Every night before going up to bed, I will take out a jar to thaw on the counter to be ready for me in the morning for my s…

The DVDs

As I mentioned in my April 30-day minimalism game challenge, I got rid of 123 DVDs. I've kept 70. Of the ones I kept, some I chose, some my daughter chose.

The criteria I used to choose my keepers: if I watch the DVDs a few times a year, I've kept them. Otherwise, they're gone. 
If the mood strikes me to watch a DVD I've gotten rid of, I can either borrow it from a family member or a friend, or I can most likely rent it online. They're not worth the real estate or the time and effort to keep them dust free. 
For the ones I've kept: if we watch them often enough, then renting them online could get quite expensive. In my opinion, they're worth holding on to... for now. 
I've gotten rid of so many books and DVDs that I can get rid of a bookcase and keep anything that's left in only one of them. So I'm getting rid of a bookcase too. It will be going to my mom who'll use it in her new apartment when she moves in August or September-ish.