Today I was feeling overwhelmed. Feeling like my time wasn't my own. So I stole a few moments for myself. When I went to run an errand, I bought myself a treat - mixed berries - and drove to the river. I rolled down the window, ate my berries, and listened to the rapids and the birds and breathed deeply.
I used to come down here often as a child and later as a teen. I'd daydream of what my life would be like. It's nothing at all what I thought or hoped it would be. But it is what it is. Don't worry, I'm not giving up. I still have dreams and I'm still working towards them. They've just changed, obviously. I suppose that's part of growing. Literally and figuratively speaking.
I was fantasizing out loud tonight with my daughter, niece, nephew and mom for an audience. The fantasy: my freelance translation business becomes successful enough within the next 3 years to allow me to take a year off of my government job and my daughter and I could travel the world during that year. I could keep working from anywhere. She'll have graduated high school by then. My daughter's reaction "JAPAN!". My mom's reaction "You're dreaming in colour" (sounds weird translated, but it's a common French Canadian expression... at least in my family it is...). Perhaps I am dreaming in colour. But it's a fun dream to fantasize about.
And reflecting on it now, I actually think it's possible. Minimize my belongings enough so that I could easily leave for a year and put what little I have in storage. Or possibly even give it all up. No need to keep an apartment here while we're away (the beauty and freedom of renting). Hmmm... this is a dream I'll enjoy planning I think... Whether I go through with it or not.