Who's that woman?

I look in the mirror and it's like I'm seeing myself with new eyes. It's happened before. But it always surprises me when it does. It seems to happen when I'm feeling somewhat at peace with life. Coincidentally, it happened during my first Whole30. 

Now when I say I'm at peace, it doesn't mean that I'm not sad or struggling with a few issues. I think that's just part of life. It's actually more like I'm just accepting what I can't change, what I have no control over. I feel like I've done all that I could do. Other people's reactions, decisions, actions or inactions don't belong to me. I must accept that. It's not easy. However, I have no other choice. For example, I can't make anyone take better care of themselves. I can't bring anyone back from the dead. I can't make someone forgive. I can't make someone care.

Maybe this new way of seeing myself has something to do with the foods I've been eating. I'm on day 4 of my second Whole30. I started from a somewhat better place (food wise) than I did during my first. I know that food definitely affects us mentally. I know when I consume dairy or sugar I usually feel quite moody within a few minutes, and my body aches.

I was re-reading a few posts from my first Whole30 and realized that I had remembered the experience as being better than it actually was. I struggled. I had crazy food cravings. But I was also strong and stuck with it. This time around, I feel a little calmer about it. I did try a round two a few months ago. But I only managed to get to day 8. I gave up after that. I'm sticking with this second attempt at round 2.

I must admit that it started out a little rough. Because I've been so emotional, I actually regretted writing about doing another. I wanted to quit before I began. BUT, writing it here for all of you to read really seems to make me stick to my word. It's all about my ego. It can be a good thing sometimes. :)

So I'm sticking with it. The first two days were rough. The last two haven't been that bad even though I've been craving pop. Tuesday night I made the ranch dressing recipe from It Starts With Food. Man! That recipe is so tasty!! Making Tuesday night's meal kind of cheered me up a little.

So who's that woman staring back at me in the mirror? She's the woman kicking ass! Living her life regardless of the obstacles she faces. Discovering every day how strong she can be. The woman that manages to keep an open heart despite every heartbreak she's faced. The woman who keeps trying to grow and learn. The woman who keeps loving, who keeps caring, who keeps wanting. She's me!

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