Perfectly imperfect

I was talking to my awesome friend Christy today at work and telling her about how disappointed I was with myself for the weekend I had. Although I had prepared another essay for today's post, she suggested that I write about these feelings instead. So here it is...
 *****
 
I put unnecessary pressure upon myself to be perfect. And this somewhat ruined an otherwise lovely weekend. Because we had gorgeous weather this past weekend, I felt like I should have taken advantage of it more. I should have gone on an adventure with my daughter. We should have gone hiking. We should have visited a museum. We should have taken a road trip. We should have taken a local boat tour of downtown Ottawa. We should have spent more time outside. We should have visited my awesome friend Christy. But we didn’t, and that got me down.

It got me down because I was aware of all of this weekend’s possibilities and I didn’t do any of it. I had also told myself that I would have perfect healthy food at every meal, but I ended up having take-out for some of my weekend meals.

All of this made me feel like a fraud because I’ve been writing about living my life and getting healthy, yet I didn’t do much “living” this past weekend, I didn’t exercise enough and my food intake wasn’t perfect. I don’t want to be a hypocrite. I want to be the person I write about being – the person who’s getting her life together. I fool myself into thinking that I can achieve perfection. That I will live every weekend to the fullest and that I will always eat the best healthiest foods. And when I inevitably don't reach this perfection, I beat myself up about it.

The thing is that that’s not reasonable. There will be weekends where it seems like the only thing I can manage to do is breathe. There will be off days. I just have to remember that having a bad day (weekend) doesn’t mean that all of the progress I’ve made is out the window. I have the skills to get back up and get back at it.

When I stopped beating myself up and thought about some of the things I did, I realized that my perception was wrong. This past weekend, I went through my filed paperwork and got rid of more unnecessary documents. I made a batch of healthy Paleo morning glory muffins. I took my daughter to get a haircut while I got my nails done. My daughter and I went for a walk Saturday evening. I spent a little time with my daughter, sister, niece and mother on Sunday. And I wrote. My actions may not have lived up to my grand expectations, but they were positive actions nonetheless. It's not like I did nothing. But even if I didn't do anything, that would have been perfectly fine also.

I must accept that I'm perfectly imperfect.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My minimalist toolbox

Image
When I was going through my things in the basement to prepare for my upcoming move, I realized that I had a lot of tools and hardware. When I owned my own home, it was comforting to have these things because I was potentially ready to fix anything that could break down in the house. When I moved to the rental townhouse in Orleans, Ontario, in 2013, I didn’t question bringing over any of these things. Even though if anything was to go wrong with the townhouse I’d have to let my landlord know and he’d be responsible for fixing it. Also, minimalism wasn’t really a concept for me yet.   For me, this was probably the ultimate "just-in-case" category. Let's face it, things don't break down that often. And I'm handy, but I'm not always building or fixing things. I probably could've borrowed whatever I've ever needed to use from my family or friends. But I like being independent, and I kind of like tools and hardware. Maybe it's the possibility of it
Read more

I'm going to be an urbanite

My current landlord emailed me at the end of May asking what my plans were since he had only one rent check left.  I was planning on moving to a smaller place in the same area where we currently live. When I got his message, it made me a little anxious. I thought I'd be excited about moving soon. Instead I was nervous. I really hate moving. Always have. But maybe that's because I've always had so many things to move, which made it all that much more stressful. A fantastic opportunity came up. The man I rent my parking spot from for work has a condo for rent in that building. So, I'm going for it! I signed the lease! I'm going to be an urbanite! We will be moving there mid September. I will have a 5-minute walk commute to work (which is already part of my commute). I'll be within walking distance of that café I wrote about in a previous essay. This is so exciting! For years I've wasted so much time stuck in traffic. No more daily traffic for me! Everythin
Read more

April challenge final update

This last part of the 30-day minimalism challenge was a bit more difficult. I kind of panicked at first. I didn't think that I could get through it. But I did! Day 16 - 2 small shelving units, a plastic basket, 3 wire shelves, a metal rack, a chair, a plastic shelving unit, a lampshade, an under bed storage container, a desk, a long decorative shelf, a vacuum, a buffet stand, an ottoman Day 17 - 6 shelves, a sheet of tiles, a set of Christmas lights, a mat, 7 magazines, a magazine holder Day 18 - a magazine holder, 3 tops, 14 movies Day 19 - 19 movies Day 20 - 20 movies Day 21 - 21 movies Day 22 - 22 movies Day 23 - This day was make-up day. Remember when I said I'd take everything out of my vanity and only put back what I was using and get rid of the rest? Well, I did it. Day 24 - 24 more items from my vanity Day 25 - 25 more items from my vanity Day 26 -  26 (and a few) more items from my vanity Day 27 - 27 movies (yes, I really got rid of 123 movie
Read more