Mini freakout

So this past weekend I freaked out a little. All of the little "issues" that one would only notice after moving into a new place were getting to me. I was tired. I was stressed. I was emotional. I was anxious.

Saturday night I had a serious moment of panic when I thought that maybe I had made a mistake with my decision to move into this condo. Not about moving downtown. I'm still quite excited and happy about that decision. But about moving into this particular unit.

I didn't really want to bring my anxiety to the attention of my mother and daughter. I felt like I had to hide it so as not to cause them anxiety. But I still had to talk to someone about it. Luckily, I had friends to discuss my concerns with. They were patient with me. They listened to (or read) what I had to say (or text), and were able to reassure me and calm me down. I'm very grateful to know such nice people! They're there to listen and lend a helping hand. I wasn't expecting such support. But I guess that's what people do when they care about you. They show up, even when you don't really know how to ask for it.

By the time I woke up Sunday morning, the anxiety storm had mostly passed. Although not completely myself yet, I felt much calmer about it all. Sure the issues are still there. It's not my place to fix them. But I think I'll be able to live with things the way they are. After my lease is up in a year, I'll just move if I find that I can't adapt and live with it. And hopefully during this coming year, I'll be able to further reduce the amount of stuff I own to make my next move that much easier.

Speaking of the move, it's almost over. We still have my mom's stuff to move out and I still have a few things left in the house (mostly donations). But by the middle of next week, the moving part will be over. Then comes the figuring out where everything will go in the condo part. I'm not too worried about that. I can take my time and see how we're using the space. And I know for a fact that there are some items that I still want to get rid of. I'm waiting for my mom to be in her own place so I don't have to deal with the "You're really getting rid of that? But it's still good!" comments.

I must say that the commute to work is pretty awesome! It's contributing to me being happy with my decision to move. I went from a 30 to 60 minute drive and 5-minute walk commute to just a 5-minute walk. And coming back home for lunch is also quite lovely. I feel such peace being home in the middle of the day.

So like with every major change, there's a period of adaptation. I didn't expect it would affect me as much. I'm sure I'll be fine. And like I said, if I'm not, I'll just move again in a year.


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