The guilt of ownership

I’ve been enjoying my journey to simplicity. It’s not always easy. Sometimes I struggle with letting go of some item (or expectation, or relationship, or whatever). But when I manage to let go, it feels great! I feel relieved. I’ve sometimes wondered why I didn’t let go before. What was holding me back?
 
I’ve also been enjoying writing about it all here, and talking about it with whoever will listen. It’s become a passion! If reading about my journey can inspire you and help you make whatever decision you’ve been having a difficult time making, then that’s a real bonus! But mostly, I’ve been doing it all to improve my quality of life – to help me on my journey.
 
I’ve notice recently that some of the people around me who’ve been following my journey and talk to me about it seem to feel guilty or apologize for “not being as much of a minimalist as me”. To these people (and whoever else might feel this way), I want to say that you shouldn’t apologize for not making the same life decisions as me. Your journey is your own.
 
If you’re happy with your situation, then there’s no need to make a change. Let go of the guilty feelings. I’ve been making these changes because I wasn’t happy. I felt overwhelmed, stressed, unhappy, unsatisfied, and even angry with my situation at times.
 
However, if you do feel guilty, maybe you should ask yourself why… Are you really so happy with your situation? Are your possessions or commitments becoming a problem? Are they getting in the way of your true happiness? Are you really living the life you truly want to live?
 
The way I justify to myself what I decide to hold on to is by asking these questions:  
  1. Can I afford it? (money or time wise)
  2. Do I have room for it? (in my physical space or in my life)
  3. Do I like (love) it? (looking at it, using it, or experiencing it makes me happy)
  4. Will it be useful to me or good for me? (good for me can just be about it making me happy)
If I can answer “yes” to all of these questions, then to me it’s justified. And in my opinion, these questions apply to items as well as pretty much everything in life (activities, expectations and relationships for example).
  
Of course this is all very egocentric. You could argue that I could (should) look outside myself a little more and maybe use available resources to give back to others. For example, let's say I own 3 pairs of pants already. All in good condition. I could donate the $60 I would have spent on a new pair of pants - even though I can afford these new pants, I have room for them, I love them, and they'll be useful. Of course I could! But right now, my focus is a little more egocentric. I'm focusing on getting my possessions and consumption under control so that maybe later on I can donate any extra resources (money or time) to a cause other than myself. Until then, I'm making decisions based on the above four questions. Once I feel I've conquered my "demons", or maybe sooner, I might add an extra question. Perhaps: can I put these available resources to better use?
 
So, dear friend, I won’t think less of you for owning more than 50 items of clothing. (That’s just a random number I came up with.) I won’t think less of you for living alone in a 10-bedroom home. I won’t think less of you for saying yes to every activity or party or event that comes up.
 
As long as you're not intentionally hurting others, live your life your way, my friend, and may you be happy!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My minimalist toolbox

Image
When I was going through my things in the basement to prepare for my upcoming move, I realized that I had a lot of tools and hardware. When I owned my own home, it was comforting to have these things because I was potentially ready to fix anything that could break down in the house. When I moved to the rental townhouse in Orleans, Ontario, in 2013, I didn’t question bringing over any of these things. Even though if anything was to go wrong with the townhouse I’d have to let my landlord know and he’d be responsible for fixing it. Also, minimalism wasn’t really a concept for me yet.   For me, this was probably the ultimate "just-in-case" category. Let's face it, things don't break down that often. And I'm handy, but I'm not always building or fixing things. I probably could've borrowed whatever I've ever needed to use from my family or friends. But I like being independent, and I kind of like tools and hardware. Maybe it's the possibility of it
Read more

I'm going to be an urbanite

My current landlord emailed me at the end of May asking what my plans were since he had only one rent check left.  I was planning on moving to a smaller place in the same area where we currently live. When I got his message, it made me a little anxious. I thought I'd be excited about moving soon. Instead I was nervous. I really hate moving. Always have. But maybe that's because I've always had so many things to move, which made it all that much more stressful. A fantastic opportunity came up. The man I rent my parking spot from for work has a condo for rent in that building. So, I'm going for it! I signed the lease! I'm going to be an urbanite! We will be moving there mid September. I will have a 5-minute walk commute to work (which is already part of my commute). I'll be within walking distance of that café I wrote about in a previous essay. This is so exciting! For years I've wasted so much time stuck in traffic. No more daily traffic for me! Everythin
Read more

April challenge final update

This last part of the 30-day minimalism challenge was a bit more difficult. I kind of panicked at first. I didn't think that I could get through it. But I did! Day 16 - 2 small shelving units, a plastic basket, 3 wire shelves, a metal rack, a chair, a plastic shelving unit, a lampshade, an under bed storage container, a desk, a long decorative shelf, a vacuum, a buffet stand, an ottoman Day 17 - 6 shelves, a sheet of tiles, a set of Christmas lights, a mat, 7 magazines, a magazine holder Day 18 - a magazine holder, 3 tops, 14 movies Day 19 - 19 movies Day 20 - 20 movies Day 21 - 21 movies Day 22 - 22 movies Day 23 - This day was make-up day. Remember when I said I'd take everything out of my vanity and only put back what I was using and get rid of the rest? Well, I did it. Day 24 - 24 more items from my vanity Day 25 - 25 more items from my vanity Day 26 -  26 (and a few) more items from my vanity Day 27 - 27 movies (yes, I really got rid of 123 movie
Read more