Continuing reflections on dad

You may have read the post I wrote about my dad and his orange brush. I said that while I was reading minimalists' testimonials it occurred to me that my dad was a minimalist. I doubt it was a conscious effort on his part, it was just his personality.

You may have also read the post I wrote about being still. After reading that particular post, the man I recently started dating shared with me that one of the things he does just about every day is to "engage in contemplation or reflection". A "deliberate effort to take time for contemplation and introspection". His daughter asked him how he could just sit and not "do anything".

That reminded me of my dad. After he retired, he'd spend hours every day just sitting outside when the weather permitted. We were free to join him at which point he'd talk with us about anything and everything. Or we could just sit in silence with him. But most of his time was spent alone. Now in my father's case, it wasn't always his choice. COPD kept him from leading the active life he would've preferred. But he could've been watching television. Instead, he chose quiet contemplation. I think even if he would've been able to lead an active life he would've still taken time to be still.

It's true what they say – you really don't know what you have until it's gone. I love(d) and appreciate(d) my dad very much, even when he was alive. However, now that I can only reflect on the man he was and not see him whenever I want, I realize just how special he was. His absence is hugely felt. And in a weird way, I now feel closer to him than ever. Only now do I really appreciate and recognize the impact he's had on my life. I'm much more like him than I ever thought. I catch myself acting silly like he used to, or saying things he used to say, or seeing his love in the way our family interacts with each other. 

My dad was a minimalist, and he certainly knew how to be still.

I miss being still with my dad.

Dad sitting outside wearing my niece's hat and my daughter's sun glasses to make us laugh after we had all joined him on one of his many being still moments.