Online dating – minimalist style

A while back I had lunch with an old high school friend who happens to be single. He was saying how he'd been having a hard time meeting women lately. I suggested that maybe he could try online dating. I've been doing it for years.

He said he wasn't interested in online dating for a few reasons. One of the reasons he offered up was that there are too many options online which makes focussing on one person more challenging. He says you may end up passing over someone that could actually be a very good match for you because you're always looking for a “better” match to come along. Or someone may pass you over for the same reason. I must say that I agree with him (to a certain degree). The same could be said for the more “natural” (if we can still even say that) way of meeting people – the “organic in person let me strike up a conversation with you” kind of way.

Like with many things, you can choose quantity over quality with online dating. You could date many different people without really taking the time to make sure they're the kind of person you're looking for. And let's face it, if you're choosing quantity over quality, how can you even know if someone is a good match for you if you don't focus on them. It takes time to really get to know someone. Focusing on one person, in my opinion, gives you better results.

This is what I mean by online dating – minimalist style. When you find someone that seems to have potential for being a good life partner for you, stop looking and focus on that one person. Give it time to develop as it should. Besides, if that person might be the one for you, don't they deserve your full attention?

I've met and dated many men from online dating sites over the years. Sometimes choosing quantity over quality. While not every experience was pleasant, I'd have to say that I learned a great deal about myself in the process. I've met men I probably would've never crossed paths with otherwise. Meeting and dating some of them helped me define the kind of man I was looking for. I also definitely have had a better time of it when I focussed on getting to know one man at a time.

This year has been my best year ever – of the six men I met, I dated three fantastic men! (One is still ongoing.) If it hadn't been for online dating sites, I most likely would have never met them. Had I kept chatting with others while I was getting to know them, I would have missed out on great experiences. I suppose you could argue that the year wasn't that great if I dated so many men... well, that's if you consider 6 many. And 3 of them were just for one date. Anyway... I still consider it a good year for the experiences I've had.

So I suggest, if you're going to online date (or just date) in the hopes of finding a life partner – do it minimalist style!


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